You get out what you put in. This is an expression my mother asserts whenever she needs a condensed, yet effective means of communicating the impact of choices. Even in the cloak of teen reluctance, the expression is digestible. Nonetheless, mostly in search of consolation for some shortcoming, there were times when I found a literal inconsistency with this expression. I was not sure if my experiences were proportionate to its claim.

 

     Did the results always equal the effort? Recently, I came to understand its truth more comprehensively. A conflict in  schedule landed me the job of picking up my grandma Cora from the after care program where she volunteers. I met my fate with a sour tang, at first. My free time was sparse and I worried it would be nonexistent. To remedy this, my plan was to get to the center, walk my grandma home, help her around the house, return home, and reclaim whatever free time remained. This was my plan...

 

     When I arrived to pick up my grandma Cora, she was still cleaning. “Now all of you go get on your coats” she instructed the children in a heavy Filipino accent.  At 22 years old, with almost no direction, my grandmother began to teach herself English. She was widowed after only a few short years of arriving in America. She worked two jobs and taught herself English when she could. Subsequently, she still speaks with a heavy Filipino accent. Trying to make her way by the door, she was intercepted by questions from the staff. She never became frustrated as she repeated strained words in an effort to communicate the resolutions each person sought. I was reminded of how she always guides with patience and consistency, never force. I looked at my clock and almost 30 minutes had pasted. My free time was slowly fading away.

 

     Once in the car, I tried to make a game-plan for what we had to do around the house so I could be prepared. Grandma Cora would mostly redirect the conversation and proceed into a reminiscent story of the past, about her parents, her children, politics, lost, and love. It felt like only moments had past before we arrived at the house. The desire that I had to get done and go home had passed. I wanted to hear more stories. However, my grandmother has a motto too, “Work before play”. I helped her through her household routine as we continued to talk about any and everything. We slowly turned the pages of old photo albums. Each picture came with a  story, most of which I’d heard before, but this time, I listened with a revised interest. By this time, I had completely forgotten all about my plan to reclaim my free time.

 

     That evening, I sat alone for a while thinking about the time I spent with my grandmother. In particular, I thought about the joy she displayed when describing small events in her children’s lives. She meticulously recounted events as if she was standing in that moment. Every detail mattered. She didn't concentrate solely on outcomes. She took pleasure and paid no attention to processes. She talked about her failures as proudly as she talked about her achievements. She did not allow her adversities or disadvantages to negate her accountability.

 

     This was what my mother was teaching me. You get out what you put in is not merely a statement about a simple relationship between cause and effect, or an equation of simple proportions. What you get out of a situation may not produce the literal one to one measurement the debater in me was looking for. My mother was teaching me that effort and perseverance are essential to accomplishing my goals. Watching and listening to grandma Cora solidified that.